History Breeds Futility
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Fear is the foundation of most governments.
-John Adams
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| Saturday, December 30, 2006
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| STEALING FROM MAD MAGAZINE |
HATER'S BALL: RIGHT-WINGERS EDITION
A lot of right-wingers piss and moan about something they call "moral relativism." They claim that liberals practice this (and not something known as empathy) and as a result cannot make any judgments or stand on any principles - that is, unless they're demonizing liberals. Then, suddenly, liberals are overly-judgmental (PC, you know) or a stickler for principles (unwilling to do "what needs to be done").
But the Right often practices its own brand of moral relativism. We present a few examples in this series we call . . .
You Know You're Dealing With a Right-Wing Moral Relativist When You Hear . . .
1. "Saddam Hussein was evil because he was a brutal dictator who suppressed dissent and, despite stabilizing the country, kept his people in abject fear and threatened neighboring countries and American interests."
"Agusto Pinochet may have been a brutal dictator who suppressed dissent and kept his people in abject fear, but he was not evil because he stabilized the country and worked in America's interest."
2. "Israel can be as aggressive as it wants in regard to Palestinians without being worthy of criticism because the Israeli people have suffered from oppression and are ideological allies of the United States."
"Palestinian aggression is always criticized because, even though they are suffering current oppression, they are not ideological allies of the United States."
3. "Muslim theocratic states are dangerous because they stifle opposing viewpoints, shun scientific thinking and perpetrate violent bigotry against minority belief systems and engage in historical revisionism to justify their repression."
"Christian theocracy would do the same in the United States, but that's okay because separation of church and state is a myth and the US was founded as a Christian nation and besides, Christians would never persecute minority beliefs."
4. "The Welfare State simply doesn't work. We need to eliminate the social safety net because lazy people are taking advantage of it. Giving people something for nothing is bad."
"The airlines need another bailout. And so do American automakers. And oil companies. And corporate farms. Keep those subsidies flowing. Giving businesses something for nothing is what keeps the country going."
5. "A Democratic President would be a tyrant who would demand extra-legal powers, subvert the Constitution and usher in a new era of fascism."
"A Republican President is above the law and should be able to spy on American citizens without obtaining warrants. A little fascism now and then isn't a bad thing."
-THE MANAGEMENT
Deacon @
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