Fear is the foundation of most governments.
-John Adams
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
BETTER DEAD THAN RED AMERICA
HATERS BALL: PUNDIT EDITION
The Washington Post's online presence continues on its journey to prove that lack of credentials, leaps in logic and poor taste are no barrier to employment so long as you're conservative.
The latest example of rising way above your own ability is Ben Domenech's new blog, Red America.
He sets the tone for what will surely be a year of recycled Limbaugh invective and poorly-worded, non-sequitur polemics.
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We arrive at his first post only to be greeted by three paragraphs of Republican-fluffing, dismissing the left with the merest wave of no argument whatsoever and mentioning what the right is for without ever mentioning what they have done.
Everyone should be familiar with the rhetoric already. If you aren't, count yourself lucky.
The real treat comes right after the partisan cheap shots.
A suggestion to name the newest wingnut welfare blog "Red Dawn" is floated. Ben zings all those strait-laced squares in the boardroom by telling them, "Well, only if you want to make people think it was a gun blog."
See, he immediately thought of Red Dawn, a schlocky waste of celluloid about Russia attacking BFE and getting defeated by a group of scrappy teenagers. It might have been mildly rousing to a twelve-year old boy with a treehouse, but shouldn't occupy anything other than a trivia slot in a functioning adult brain (example: C. Thomas Howell would go on to star in the even more execrable Soul Man).
Ben uses his example of cluelessness about Red Dawn to discuss how very ignorant the mainstream media has been about conservative America. We often use inconsequential action films to illustrate foolish notions about general schools of thought.
Really, though, what worries us most is that Ben talks as if the movie were still relevant. It's not.
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Personally, our selection for cheesy pic espousing conservative values would have to be Toy Soldiers. Either one.
"While on a vacation in Central America, some American teenagers are kidnapped by terrorists. A rescue mission is sent after them, but they manage to escape and join up with a mercenary fighting the terrorists."
You don't even have to see it. Absolute genius. And completely perfect for a post-911 world. As if that weren't good enough . . .
"When terrorists seize control of a boarding school, a group of trouble-making boys decide to resist them."
Now keep in mind that the terrorists in both of these movies are South American. But they could easily be replaced in a wingnut fantasy by Islamofascists.
Commies, however? Does that still resonate?
Man, we sure are clueless about conservative America.
Bonus Bonus: We wonder very much why Ben didn't object to the blog title Red Dawn because, in the context of the movie, it's an obvious reference to the Soviets. That would have made a much funnier scenario than the strawgroup he conjured.
